Maybe, if you ceased to exist, people wouldn't even notice you're missing
Maybe, if you disappeared into thin air, someone could come along and do a better job than you.
Maybe, all that you have been striving to do, just proves how unworthy you are. Because despite striving, you still can't thrive.
Maybe, all that you believed in, was just a facade, to make life a little bit easier to bear.
Maybe, there's no One upstairs. Or even if there is, he's most probably not what you thought him to be. And maybe, the love that you thought was free for all, was just an illusion to help you through the day.
Have you ever wished that you could go to sleep at night and never have to wake up to face a brand new day? Well, maybe you could try being Aiky for one day. Maybe that will give you a glimpse of that feeling of despair.
Monday, November 12, 2007
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4 comments:
Hey Aiky, sounds like you're going through a rough patch now. Don't worry, this phase will soon past. Time will heal all wounds...so hang in there dear!
not too long ago, there was some one else in your position. wondering if all were right, and if really, did He care? more importantly to that person, did anyone care? left alone in a place far away. no friends, no family. this person has soon thought that all was over.
was He really there?
if it wasn't for Him, i don't think that THAT person, who have received calls and encouragements, gifts and mails from land afar.
for that. i am thankful. for however woeful i was, and however difficult it was for me to see Him, He sent others to care for me.
rough patch it is. you know where the people are. facade or not. know that there are still ppl rooting for u. well. i am at least.
u know where to reach me :)
welcome to the dark night of the soul.
How can You, O God, allow this to happen to me?
Is that part of Your 'great plan' for my life?
Is that part of Your so-called 'training'?
Geez, I find that hard to believe that such a God would do that to me. You are Love, are You not? Love can do this to me. GREAT! [sarcastically] Love surely is devastating. [rolls eyes, whispering "whatever..."]
You let me fall. My heart is broken and sinking. [shakes head] Despair, yea, despair.
*******************
Anger is a secondary emotion. Be angry but do not sin. Reread the first few lines. Can a man lift his finger to accuse His Maker? Can darkness come from the One in Whom no darkness is found? Be watchful of words.
If the layers were peeled off to reveal the core. Will it sound like -
I honestly didn't expect this.
I don't know what is going on.
Someone help.
I am hurting, badly.
You are hurt. We know well. We wish we can be there to ache with you. But we are far and we pray so much so that the Comforter might restore your heart. You called when I lost myself to despair '06 "when i wished that i could go to sleep at night and never have to wake up to face a brand new day"
1 "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound; 2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."
Hope, aiky, hope. Find it.
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