Aiky, you want to talk?

I sit in front of a collage of memories,
remembering the times when I sprinted ahead,
with God's purpose, God's will.
I look back on my works,
at the times when the impossible was possible,
and I give thanks for the lives touched, the things changed.
I look back at the path with 2 sets of foot prints,
and I know it wasn't my strength.

I sit in front of an image of the present,
realising that the past can only go so far.
Has my purpose changed?
Can your will be done?
In a setting so different,
can my illumination be seen?
or has it already gone dim?

I sit in front of an abyss of uncertainty,
haunted by the fear that I'm not doing enough,
that I'm not shining enough for you.
I try to sprint and bring others along,
but is it self confidence that I don?
for at times I feel tired,
and the need to prove takes over,
and I want to shun the question:
'Aiky, where are your fruits of salvation?'

Then, I was brought once again to the Cross,
I looked at the nails piercing your flesh,
and all my dreams fell apart,
as my humanly mind tried to grasp
what another man had to go through,
just so I could be well.
And I realise I've missed the whole point,
it's not about what I want to do,
or my acts, or my words for you.
All you asked of me,
was for a loving heart like a child's.

I look on the sand,
there are still 2 sets of footprints.
and I hear someone beside me say:
'Aiky, you want to talk?'
I look up only to find the face of a friend,
who is waiting patiently,
to hear and share my struggles.
But I am left speechless,
for finally I understand,
I only had to look up,
to draw strength and confidence,
from a Father, Friend, and Savior.


I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down, for the sake of you my king,
i'm giving you my dreams, i'm laying down my rights
i'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life.
And I surrender all to you. -'Surrender', Justin McRoberts